In the land of the Renaissance - Part 3

After taking a different path yet again to the Ponte Vecchio (trying out different paths to get to your destination is a fun activity to try in Florence. As the city is quite compact, this gives an opportunity to take in the city life and often come across interesting and unexpected sights), I crossed the river and was in the front of the Pitti Palace. The Pitti palace initially belonged to a Florentine banker from where it passed on to the ownership of the Medicis and was later opened to the public by the Italian king in 1919. The palace contains an impressive collection of art and sculpture amassed mainly by the Medicis. The first impression of the palace was not very impressive as the palace facade is quite plain and bereft of any ornamentation. Nevertheless, referring to the old adage of not judging a book by its cover, I plodded on.

The first thing that greets you once you enter the building is a security scanner and some burly security guards (quite out of place in a Renaissance palace, don't you think) but I guess this is necessary given the current situation.  I wonder if this process can be made a bit more fun so that it does not take away from the historical experience. We can have the guards dress up in the period costumes or something like that. Anyways, after clearing the security scan, I headed to the ticket counter. I knew that the main things to see here in the Pitti Palace are the Palatine apartments (that house the art collection of the Medicis) and the Boboli gardens. But once I reached the ticketing desk, I realized that the enterprising people here have very smartly found out a way to extort your money. Both these sights are separately priced (at around 10 euros each) and the ticket to the gardens is bunched along with several small museums (of silverware, costumes and porcelain - not very appealing to me). So, if you just want to see the art gallery and the gardens you'll have to buy both the tickets. This seemed a bit unreasonable to me. As a visitor, I should have the freedom to pick and choose the sights I want to see. After some consideration, I thought of just visiting the gardens as I was still reeling from the art onslaught in the Uffizi. Since this came with tickets to several smaller galleries as well, I decided to do a quick jaunt through them. These galleries are situated in the former royal apartments and although the collections were ho-hum, the rooms were a study in opulence and elegance (sorry, no photos as it was not allowed). Each room had exquisite furnishings, ornate tapestries and even the ceilings and walls were decorated with beautiful paintings. I realized one thing from this - no doubt the Medicis had a lot of money but it's clear that they had a lot of taste as well which was evident in the decor of the rooms. After a quick walk through the courtyard of the palace, I entered the Boboli gardens.

These gardens were built for Eleonora di Toledo, the wife of Cosimo Medici, who among other things bore him eleven children and is regarded as being the first modern first lady who served as the ruler of Florence in the absence of her husband. Now, since I had seen pictures of the gardens at Versailles, I had  a slight idea about how formal European gardens look like and this one certainly fit the bill. There were beautiful fountains, wide avenues of cypresses and series of geometric hedges. Since this was October, there were not much flowers to be seen but there were plenty of trees displaying the brilliant fall foliage. Another thing that I noticed that these were not perfectly manicured gardens where every tree, bush and shrubbery was trimmed to clinical precision. Rather, there was a slight messy and wild look to it that made it even more appealing to me.

                                                                                                               

                                              

One of my favorite things about formal European gardens is the way they incorporate classical elements like statues, grottoes, small temples midst the trees. I find this juxtaposition extremely fascinating and the Boboli gardens were certainly no exception to this rule. There were a lot of statues scattered here and there in the middle of the trees and shrubs so it was almost a magical experience to suddenly come across a statue nestled among the trees. As with the gardens, these statues appeared a little worse for wear and some were partially obscured by the trees. This gave the whole place a feeling of decayed splendor and a slightly surreal vibe.

As I kept walking, I reached a section of the gardens that was devoid of any other person. As I wandered around among the shrubbery that threw dappled shafts of the setting winter sun on the ground, my mind suddenly drifted off to the myths and legends that I had read as a child . This was a place where one could actually visualize these legends coming true. I could almost imagine Pan sitting near one of the hedges and playing his pipes, Dionysus and his satyrs dancing around intoxicated with wine, Persephone playing with her maidens while Hades waited in the shadows and Aphrodite heralding the advent of spring along with the three graces.  I was lost in this reverie for quite some time before the chatter of some other travelers jolted me out of it. As I continued exploring, I realized that I was sweating profusely even though it was a chilly winter day. Actually, these gardens are built on an incline and as you move further upwards, you are actually climbing up a hill. On the plus side, this meant that as I reached the top part of the gardens, I was rewarded with spectacular views of Florence and the surrounding countryside.

Since the gardens were about to close in an hours time, I realized that I still had to see the Bardini gardens which are situated behind the Boboli gardens and admission to them was included with the ticket. After looking at the map, I located the way leading to the Bardini gardens. As I was heading towards the gardens, I saw a fort like structure along the path. According to the signs posted and the map, this was the Belvedere fort.  

As I went towards the fort to have a closer look, I noticed that the gates were closed and there was an official sign that said the complex was closed due to some maintenance work. However, as I wandered around I came across another sign. This was clearly not an official sign and instead consisted of a number of newspaper clippings. Most of them were in Italian but there were a few in English. Apparently, there had been a mysterious accident where a young girl fell to her death in the fort and it's been closed ever since. There were some clippings that mentioned that few other people as well as dogs had been found dead in the fort. I didn't know whether this was true or not but the fort now definitely looked quite spooky in the evening light. Also, the fact that there was not a single other person to be seen in the vicinity and there was an eerie silence over the place was enough to send me scampering away from there. I tend not to believe in such silly superstitions but there was definitely an uncanny vibe about the whole place. I later found out that this fort is supposed to be one of the most haunted places in Florence as a lot of people were tortured and burnt here for witchcraft in earlier times. Anyways, after climbing up a steep incline I finally reached the Bardini gardens. The Bardini gardens are relatively modern and are quite well maintained compared to the Boboli gardens. Since these gardens are situated higher up the hill, the views of Florence are even better from here. These gardens also contain a large selection of sculptures most of which are modern and contemporary art.

Although the Bardini gardens were quite beautiful, I had completely depleted my energy resources for the day and was unable to move a step further. Since I had a trip to Venice planned for the next day, I decided to head back to the hotel and rest my aching legs. On the way back, I stopped at a gelato shop and had my first gelato in Florence (vanilla + chocolate & hazelnut). It was absolutely divine and I could now see why people went gaga over authentic Italian gelato. As I walked back to my hotel enjoying my gelato, the sun was setting on the Ponte Vecchio marking the end of another glorious day in Florence. The experience had been wonderful so far and I was looking forward to exploring more of this fascinating city. 

In the land of the Renaissance - Part 2

As the next day dawned, I was in no mood to leave the comfortable hotel room but as I had reservations at the world famous Uffizi gallery at 9, I grudgingly got ready and headed down to breakfast.  At the breakfast hall I finally had the chance to meet the charming owner of the hotel, Patricia. She is an American from Texas who came to Italy to study, fell in love with the country (and a resident in particular) and stayed on here since then. She speaks four languages fluently and is a veritable gold mine of information about Florence. After a quick chat and a delicious breakfast - bread, jam, butter, yogurt, cake and the most delicious cup of cappuccino I have ever tasted, I was on my way. Now, according to Google maps, it would take 40 mins to walk from my hotel to the museum so I set out sufficiently early. It was bitterly cold outside and I spent some time trying to adjust to the weather (the perils of staying in a tropical country with summer all year around). Armed with my trusted map, I made my way towards the museum while watching the city come to life in the morning. A few twists and turns later, I was on the banks of the Arno - one of the most important rivers of central Italy. The phrase 'looks can be deceptive' can be perfectly applied to this river. As calm and benign the river looks, it almost wiped out the city in a devastating flood in 1966 and damaged thousands of priceless artworks. 

I was so engrossed in looking at the river and the beautiful bridges that spanned it that I didn't realize that I had arrived at the Uffizi. I looked at my watch and realized that it had just taken me just 20 minutes to walk from the hotel (in spite of stopping numerous times to take photos). So, either Google maps misjudged my walking speed or it simply showed a longer route than the actual one. This taught me a valuable lesson - however advanced technology gets, you should never trust it blindly. Anyways, the museum would not open for another 45 mins so I had no option but to wait there. A little bit of background won't be amiss here for people wondering what is so special about the Uffizi. The Uffizi was built as an office for the magistrates in the courts of the illustrious Medici family (the word Uffizi means office in Italian) and over time has become an museum holding one of the most fantastic collection of renaissance art and sculpture in the world. A quick tip for visitors - in the peak seasons, there is a huge queue for the museum with waiting times of up to five hours. To save time, you can either make an reservation online or through phone. I would recommend the phone reservation as it's much easier as you do not need to make a payment right away. You are given a serial number and time slot for entry. If you fail to turn up or do not want to visit that time, your reservation is automatically cancelled and you do not lose any money. It does cost 4 euros more than the actual ticket but it is much more convenient than a web booking. Anyways, since I had some time to kill I decided to wander about for a bit. As I came out of the museum compound, I observed an interesting looking bridge just in front and realized that I was looking upon the famous Ponte Vecchio (the old bridge).

This is one of the most famous bridges of Florence and is the only bridge to be spared during the second world war bombings. The box  like structures propped up on stilts along the edges of the bridge are actually shops that are lined across the bridge. Now if you observe carefully, there is an elevated corridor running along the top of the bridge. There is an interesting story behind this passage. The members of the royal Medici family of Florence needed a way to travel from their offices in the Uffizi and their royal residences on the other side of the river without having to walk among the common people (for safety and snobbery reasons) . So, they commissioned a passageway that stretched all the way from the palace to the office buildings (dozing through several houses in the process) that was designated as an exclusive road for the royals. At its time of construction, the bridge was populated by butchers. But since the stench of meat and blood was hardly considered befitting as a backdrop to a royal jaunt, they were promptly evacuated and replaced by something more elegant - goldsmiths. The tradition has still continued and all the shops you see in the bridges are goldsmiths containing some of the most extravagant jewellery (both in terms of looks as well as prices) in town. The corridor is only opened for limited periods every year and sadly it wasn't open when I was visiting. Nevertheless, I decided to pretend to be a noble for sometime and strutted along royally along the bridge for some time (ignoring the stares from the onlookers). This is a peculiar habit of mine - whenever I visit a palace or any place connected with royalty, I get into the spirit of the place totally and behave like royalty. The views from the bridge were beautiful and presented numerous photo opportunities.

The majority of the crowd on the bridge comprised of couples with the ladies gazing rapturously at the jewellery on show in the window displays of the goldsmiths and the gentlemen shuffling around anxiously looking at the  price tags. As my allotted time at the museum was now approaching, I decided to go and collect my tickets. As I was walking along the road, I saw an unusual sight dotting the railings. There were tons of locks attached to the chain link fences and each had a date written on them. Since I had no idea what they were there for, I just took some photos and later asked my hotel manager what purpose they served. As it turned out, these locks are placed there by couples as a symbol of their everlasting love and the fact that they are "locked" together forever. Nobody knows how this tradition started but the local council is having a tough time with these lock lovers and hundreds of euros are being spent to remove them. 

Anyways, coming back to the museum I went and collected my ticket and waited in the reserved tickets queue while looking around at the building.The building is not very spectacular from outside but contains numerous statues of famous Tuscan people including Michelangelo, Dante and many others.It is connected to the old palace (the Palazzo Vecchio) at the other end. After a few minutes wait, the gates opened and we were whisked into a security hold reminiscent of an airport and a short security check later, I was inside the Uffizi gallery. Sadly, photography is strictly prohibited inside the gallery so I can't share with you the wonders that were inside. Then again, photos cannot do justice to the works of the Renaissance masters like Botticelli, Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. Trust me, it is an experience to stand in front of these masterpieces and just marvel at the genius of the human mind (if put to good use). I was particularly enamored by "The birth of Venus" and "Primavera" by Botticelli which to me represent the finest examples of Renaissance art. However, the experience of watching these marvelous works of art was somewhat marred by the fact the organizational facilities of the museum left a lot to be desired. The lack of proper lighting and poor signage are not expected in a museum, especially one that holds such an important collection of Renaissance art. After wandering around the museum for around 2 hours (which included running back to the Botticelli room to see the paintings again and again), my brain, legs and stomach all started to protest simultaneously. I decided to say goodbye to the Uffizi and head back for lunch. 

After a quick lunch, I started to think about how to spend the remaining part of the day. I had originally planned to explore the interiors of the Duomo (cathedral) along with its accompanying museum, but as the day was bright and sunny, I decided to make most of the weather and visit an outdoor location. After a quick consultation with my itinerary, I zeroed in on going to the Pitti palace and spend time in the adjoining Boboli gardens. I figured that it would be a good antidote to all the heavy duty art that my brain was subjected in the morning. As I looked at the map to find the Pitti palace, it appeared to be across the river and I needed to cross the Ponte Vecchio again to get there. So, in spite of the sleepiness creeping up on me (thanks to the pasta and gelato lunch), I strolled off again to explore the Pitti palace and Boboli gardens (to be continued).

In the land of the Renaissance - Part 1

"The universe is composed of five elements Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Florentines". This quote from Pope Boniface VIII pretty much sums up the respect the city of Florence commanded in ancient Italy. There has to be some kind of solid foundation behind this kind of statement and when you are talking about a city which has been the birthplace and workplace of some of the most illustrious painters, sculptors, writers, poets and statesman in the history of mankind, this level of presumptuousness can be certainly accepted.

If you are wondering why I am raving about Florence, thats because I had the fortune to visit this magical and fascinating city when I went to attend a conference there in October 2010 (one of the few good things about doing a PhD, atleast you get to travel). This series of posts is my tribute to the city and the wonderful sights that abound in and around the place. My journey began from Singapore on a warm October evening from where I was flying to Florence via Paris. After a 13 hour flight to Paris and a delayed connecting flight to Florence, I was beginning to feel a bit drowsy. However, I finally boarded the flight to Florence. It was a bright sunny day and the views through the flight window were gorgeous. As we were flying from Paris to Florence, the journey took us over the Alps which were clearly visible in all their snow capped glory. After a short flight, I finally touched down at the Amerigo Vespucci airport in Florence.

  

After the baggage claim and immigration formalities, I hopped on to the airport shuttle bus and was off to the city center to my hotel. The city center of Florence is based around the main train station (Santa Maria Novella). As luck would have it, I confused the directions and got lost while trying to locate my hotel. Spotting a policeman nearby, I went ahead and asked him (in my broken Italian) for help. He looked at me and my map sympathetically and then replied in crisp English "It's the street on the left side of the station". So much for trying to be smart and asking directions in Italian. Nevertheless, I located the hotel easily after that. The lady at the reception was very welcoming and her broad smile helped make up for any linguistic barriers (she did not speak a word of English). After taking some rest, I decided to head for the main sight of Florence - the Duomo. The Duomo or the Basilica of Santa Maria del Fiore is one of the major attractions of Florence. Armed with a map, I set out to locate the cathedral. As I looked around to find my bearings, I realized that the map was useless. For there, shining like a beacon in the balmy sunlight was the enormous dome of the cathedral, dominating the horizon as it kept a perpetual vigil over this city and her inhabitants. 

The task of locating the cathedral was now simplified to just keep walking towards the dome hoping that it would lead you directly to your destination. I believe these domes are constructed for this very purpose - to give the faithful a vision of their destination from afar and remind them that their long and arduous journey will not be in vain. Nevertheless, this approach seemed to work for a tourist as well and I set off on my mission. One thing which strikes you in Florence is that everybody on the streets is quite fashionable and are extremely well dressed from head to toe. I guess that's why so many of the major fashion houses are based in Italy. However, I guessed I should not be gawking at people (I was going to a church after all) and focus on the destination. After quite some twists and turns and navigating a narrow winding lane, I finally reached. However, I was not at all prepared for the spectacle which unfolded in front of me and it took me a few seconds to regain my composure. Everything else seemed to vanish and the splendid Neo-gothic facade of the Duomo shimmering in the beautiful dusk light unfolded in all its glory before my eyes. 

A little bit of history would not be amiss here. The cathedral was constructed in order to showcase the might of Florence in the whole of Tuscany region and took almost 200 years to complete. The crowning glory of the cathedral (pun intended) is the dome. It is an architectural and engineering marvel, considering the time when it was constructed and remains to this day, the largest brick dome in the world. Anyways, once I regained my senses, it struck me that the facade of the cathedral looked like a gigantic cake with the exquisite marble paneling in white, pink and green showcasing the best of the Tuscan marble quarries. The square in which the Duomo is located is called the Piazza del Duomo and includes the cathedral, a bell tower and a baptistery. I decided to visit the baptistery first as the cathedral would take a long time to explore and I did not have the requisite energy. So, after buying a ticket (the man at the ticket counter looked like an old testament prophet), I entered the baptistery. It was quite dark inside as the only light there was the one filtering through the windows. The interiors were quite tasteful done up in marble and featured gilded altars and several tombs. The real thing to see however was the magnificent mosaic ceiling which featured stories from the Bible. The main theme was the last judgement with Christ casting sinners in a quite scary looking hell featuring all sorts of gruesome tortures. The artists working here definitely had fertile imaginations with regards to their vision of hell.

The baptistery has been the setting for the baptism of many notable Florentines including Dante and the members of the illustrious Medici family. After spending quite some time inside the baptistery, my jet lag finally caught up with me. Although there was lots more to see (the actual highlight of the baptistery building are its doors but more on that later), I decided to call it a day. After admiring the facade of the Duomo which had now taken on a mystical hue with the last rays of the setting sun, I set off to my hotel feeling tired yet upbeat thinking about the magical experience that lay ahead as I would discover this wondrous city of   Florence. 

A survivors guide to Singapore

Well, first of all I would like to wish all my readers a very happy new year. As I write this post, I complete one full year of my stay in Singapore. As you all know from my previous posts, I didn't exactly have a very auspicious beginning here, but with time I have done reasonably well (considering the fact that I have not contemplated escaping). I still remember the initial months when I was slowly getting used to the different quirks and surprises that Singapore threw at me every now and then and which caught me totally off guard. In order to ensure that this does not happen to any other hapless soul from India (like me), I now proudly present the survivors guide to Singapore - What to do and expect to survive here (based on my own experiences)

• While shopping (especially for groceries) do not attempt to convert the price to Indian currency - Believe me, if you attempt to do this, chances are that you may go to the market and come back empty handed when you see milk @ 90 Rs\L, apples @10 Rs each, yogurt @ 120 Rs\500g (Oh, I think I have said enough. Lets just leave it at that shall we)
  
  

• Carry your own water bottle with you (even when you are eating out) - We people are so used to have unlimited glasses of water supplied to us whether eating in a roadside dhaba or a five star hotel, it really comes as a shock here when you literally have to beg for water before they give you one glass rather reluctantly (that too in a relatively posh place, forget about it in the canteens and food courts meant for everyday eating). Also, the fact that Singapore is perpetually hot and humid does not help. So, always make it a point to carry a bottle of water (a little consolation, they do have water dispensers in some of the places but without any glasses and drinking Indian style is not possible) unless you want to land up with dehydration.

• Always carry an umbrella, especially when outdoors - The weather in Singapore is as unpredictable as the elections in India. One moment you have the sun shining in all its glory and suddenly out of nowhere, black clouds materialise and voila you have rains (ably supported by thunderstorms). So, do not leave home without one (and even if you do, there are vending machines here that sell umbrellas, neat) and in fact I think the umbrella + water bottle combo is must when going out in Singapore.




• Cross the roads only at the designated crossing spots - Well, I really don't know what happens when you don't do this ( and I don't have the courage to find out by actually doing it) so to be on the safe side (of the road and the law) look out for the buttons on the traffic lights which turns the crossing light green and let you cross. Also, I haven't seen a single traffic police here since coming (hats off to these people).




• Inform the bus driver that you want to get down , even at a legitimate stop - Believe me, this is absolutely true. If there are no passengers waiting for the bus at a particular stop and no one in the bus wants to get down at that stop, the driver will simply drive by without stopping. So, use the 'STOP' button to let the driver know that you wish to get down.




• Be prepared for shocks and surprises in the kopitiams (food courts) - As some of you know from my previous article, the first culinary delight I had the (mis)fortune to set my eyes here in Singapore was "PIGS ORGAN SOUP" which I think says enough. There are many such visual delights lurking around, so just keep an eye out (and preferably far away). You have been warned.





• Be prepared to have conversations in Singlish, lah - The unofficial official language of Singapore is a curious mix of English, Malay and Mandarin which is at once strange and funny to hear. Maybe you should have a look here to know more and you are ready to speak Singlish lah (wondering about the lah bit, go through the link).




• And last but definitely not the least, be prepared for rampant PDA going on anywhere, anytime and anyplace (even in front of a war memorial !!!) - Well, this needs no further explanation I guess.

That concludes the survivors guide to Singapore. You are now prepared to enjoy Singapore in all its glory without having to worry about the little quirks (which I learnt the hard way). So, hoping to see some of you here soon, ciao.

Trapped !!!

Earlier this week I took the elevator to get to my lab (before all the health freaks start berating me for not taking the stairs, the lab happens to be on the 6th floor) in college. The elevator behaved in a perfectly agreeable manner till the 5th floor where it gave a mighty shudder. I panicked but since the lift continued upwards, I heaved a sigh of relief (ignorant me). The lift gave an even mightier shudder at the 6th floor and stopped.

Well, it was supposed to stop so no complaints there. But when the door refused to open after 5 minutes, I started panicking again. Well, enterprising people that these Singaporeans are, it was mentioned in bold letters near the door "IN CASE OF BREAKDOWN, DO NOT PANIC, PRESS THE ALARM BUTTON AND WAIT FOR RESCUE". Well, that was a very apt and succinct description of my situation so I had no choice but to press the alarm button and wait.
What followed was simply hilarious (now that I look back upon it) but was really quite irritating at that time. After a few seconds of pressing the alarm button, the officer in charge started enquiring about the situation through the intercom provided in the lift.

What follows is a dramatization of the conservation (mind you, not a word of it is made up) and the parts in italics represent my thoughts some of which I wanted to convey but could not due to some bad habits like courtesy and politeness which I happen to possess. Read on then and a statutory warning - do not fall off your chair or whatever you are sitting on due to shock or laughter overdose

Official: Hello
Me: Hello

Official: So are you stuck in the elevator ?
Me: Yes (No, I just pressed the button for fun. Wanted to listen to your beautiful baritone voice and tell Amitabh Bacchan that he has competition. OF COURSE I AM STUCK!!!)

Official: Are you alone ?
Me: Yes (Does that even matter ??? Will you not open the door if I was with someone ? Cut to the chase man and open the blessed door )

Official: May I know your name please ?
Me: (Uh oh !! Absolutely wrong question to ask at the absolutely wrong time. Looks like he is not aware of the trials and tribulations associated with my name.. well my life depends on it so..fingers crossed..here goes) Shu-bha-brata

Official: Sorry..can you please repeat that ?
Me: (Yeah right..as if I had expected you to get it on the first try..that would have been a miracle..so here goes again) Shu-bha-brata

Official: Si-va-prak-ash ?
Me: (Aaarghhhh!!! My name strikes again... Well who cares..I'll assume a false name..getting out of here is a priority..if I try to get my name right then probably I'll have to spend the night in the lift) Yes..that's it

Official: Are you a staff or a student ?
Me: (Oh dear god..Have I committed a murder or something..IS THIS QUESTION EVEN RELEVANT TO THE SITUATION $#%*&#^$&$* ???..) student

Official: Full time or part time ?
Me: (Ridiculous..Absolutely ridiculous..Were you a interrogator in the police force or something ? FOR GODS SAKE..I AM STUCK IN A LIFT..GET ME OUT) full time

Official: Which department are you in ?
Me: (I am speechless now..this really takes the cake) Computer Science

Official: Thank you. We'll send someone across shortly. Please don't panic
Me: (Yeah right..don't panic..thanks to your interrogation my panic has now been replaced by irritation) Ok

25 MINUTES LATER


Official: Hello, are you still inside the lift ?
Me: (Oh no..I attend hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry secretly.. just got my apparition license and disapparated outside..OF COURSE I AM INSIDE THE LIFT..WHERE ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE..) Yes

Official: How are you feeling now ?

Me: (Looks like this guy watches a lot of indian news channels..'aap ke ghar main chori ho gayi hai..ab aap kaisa mahsoos kar rahe hain'.. is this even a time for pleasantries) I am fine

Official: I see. We have sent the technician. He'll be there shortly. Please don't panic
Me: (Shortly is it ? Can you please tell me how short is 'shortly' exactly because according to me 25 minutes is not quite shortly) Ok

15 MINUTES LATER..FINALLY..THE DOOR OPENS..THE ORDEAL ENDS..I AM FREE..HURRAY

Well, friends this is the true story of my ordeal which has permanently scarred my mind and has resulted in my praying every time I happen to board an elevator (an average of 4 to 5 times a day). I am still hoping to meet that guy someday who tormented me in that lift and just added to the frustration of being stuck inside (that too alone). I wonder what I'll do to him if I do run into him. I think I shall (SUPRESSED DUE TO STRONG LANGUAGE AND INAPPROPRIATE WORDS)

Kahani Hamaray Mahabharat Ki

The latest televised version of Mahabharat by (K)Ekta Kapoor is making a lot of news these days - be it the costumes designed by Manish Malhotra, the lavish sets or the speculation about who is playing what character. Recently, I happened to come across a message board on a website which had asked people to comment on the upcoming series and what they felt about it. Well, a large majority of people (predictably) felt that it would pale in comparison to the older version (by B.R. Chopra), however a select few had some pretty interesting (and rather funny) comments to make considering it was Ekta Kapoor - the saas bahu specialist who was at the helm of affairs. I found some of these comments outrageously funny and would like to share them with all you people. Please note that I do not mean any offence to anyone and all of this is to be taken in good humour.

Comment #1 The battle of Kurukshetra happens three times. Why ? Well, after the Kauravas are killed they come back again with the help of plastic surgery and all new faces (maybe with a new height also)

Comment #2 Kunti and Draupadi have regular saas bahu battles in Indraprastha (together with sound effects and rotating camera angles)

Comment #3 As Ekta kapoor is known for bringing characters from different serials together, maybe in this Mahabharat, the Kauravas will enlist the help of Ravana to fight the Pandavas who in turn will call upon Rama to join them in the battle

Comment #4 Tulsi (Smriti Irani) should be considered for the role of Bheem, Bakasur or Ghatotkach (people who have seen her recently should find this pretty funny)

Comment #5 This series may continue well into 2025. After all, if someone can stretch silly stories (read: the current K crop of serials) upto 7 years, god only knows what they will do when they have the largest epic in the world in their hands

Well, these comments were certainly the best of the lot I happened to come across. Hope you find them as funny as I did.

P.S : By the way, I happened to catch the first episode of "Kahani Hamaray Mahabharat Ki" (hope i got the number of a's and r's right ) and I was shocked. Firstly, the costumes looked as if they would be more suitable on roman gladiators. Secondly, it started off with the drapuadi cheer-haran sequence and then went into flashback mode (typical K-Serial style). The lesser I say about the acting and the dialogues the better. Give me the old Mahabharat any day (I am, in fact watching it on YouTube these days). Did any of you guys see it ? Feel free to give me your comments about it.

Singapore Sojourn - Part 2

Well, a quick recap of part 1
got job - left job - joined university in Singapore - flew to Singapore - went to hostel - opened room


What I saw once my eyes had adjusted to the light inside simply took my breath away. And I mean that quite literally as the smell emanating from within suggested that the world skunk conference was going on within in a garden of rafflesia flowers (refer the links if you do not find that part humorous). I stepped inside gingerly on the black tiled floor only to realize that the floor was actually white tiled (as a stray white patch suggested) and I was walking on what seemed to be (on second thoughts let it be, i don't want anyone to be sick over their keyboards). A description of the apartment would not be amiss here. The front door leads to a drawing and dining room and is connected to two bedrooms on one side whereas the kitchen and toilets are further up ahead. It appeared as if the previous occupants were so distraught upon leaving the flat they decided to carry out an 'Extreme makeover - home edition' on the apartment itself to prepare it for the new occupants. Upon reaching the kitchen, that ambrosial scent which had greeted me at my entry became almost overbearing and I could finally trace its origin to the fridge. Now, the previous occupants had very thoughtfully left behind a full stash of food (mostly dairy products) and then even more thoughtfully, had proceeded to switch off the fridge after placing all the food inside. I won't proceed to give a description of how the milk and curd looked (just in case someone pukes)..lets just say it was in such a severe degree of decomposition that if I drank that I probably would have mutated into something in the leagues of the Hulk. And to top it all, as a final addition of insult to injury, a broom was left behind by the owners (very thoughtfully) and was reclining majestically against the kitchen wall.

Well, I believe I gave you all a fair picture of the spectacle that greeted me on my arrival here. Encouraging isn't it...for someone on his first day in a foreign country. Anyways, after getting assurances from the management that the room would be cleaned by noon, we somehow managed to freshen up and went looking out for lunch. Who knew another (mis)adventure awaited us there. Now Singapore has these big food centers known as kopitiams where different kinds of food are sold under one roof and every shopping centre here has one. So we had one right behind our hostel, so we off we went and the first stall which we encountered proclaimed very proudly in bold letters its haute cuisine "PIGS ORGAN SOUP". Ahem, not a very auspicious start to our mission is it. Enterprising non-veg food lover that I am, I do draw a line between the stuff I find edible and the ones nauseating. Needless to say this item falls in the latter category (you can imagine the reaction of my friend who happens to be a pure vegetarian). Looking back over the events that had transpired after I landed at the hostel (first the room and then this), I wondered whether this some well planned conspiracy against us (by the prior occupants of our room, probably) to make us catch the return flight to India ASAP. Well, we were not going to give up so easily. After a full round of the market and surveying all the stalls (majority of which we observed, served some stuff in bowls in which floated some unknown creatures of the deep), I finally managed to find a stall selling fried chicken and rice (aah, finally something known to me). My friend however was not so lucky, and his first lunch in Singapore consisted of a loaf of bread, jam and milk. Well, by the time we got back to the hostel (which was cleaned up now, mercifully) my friend was already suffering from a severe bout of depression. I was also not exactly in the best of spirits - if this was a taste of the things to come, how was I going to survive here for 4 years ? Well, it appeared that we could only hope for things to change for the better and leave the rest in the hands of fate....

P.S: Things did change for the better. We had everything in control within one week and the whole place is so systematic and well organised that we had adjusted in no time. After all, I write this post as I complete almost 6 months of stay here.

Well, that's a description of my first day in Singapore. I'll keep on publishing posts about the surprising (and sometimes shocking) things I encountered here in the coming months (don't worry, I shall be writing about other stuff as well, this is not a blog exclusively dedicated to Singapore :) ). Till my next post then, Ciao...